20 july 2006
i have had the urge to impale something lately. it's been some i-feel-like-impaling-something last several days. mebbe even last several months. figurative impalement of course.
as a method to maintain sanity under current global, national, and other circumstances that shall remain nameless, i briefly explore the word impalement:
from my friend dictionary.com:
m-p
l
) also em·pale (
m-)-
- To pierce with a sharp stake or point.
- To torture or kill by impaling.
- To render helpless as if by impaling.
and from merriam-webster online dictionary:
i am less intrigued by the etymology.
in the last few minutes i have now read far too much about the history of impalement as a form of torture and execution. i think i have to come up with a better expression that encapsulates my own little emotional potpourri of confusion, pissed-offedness, impotence, irritation (two people a few seats over are passionately debating the perceived career missteps of britney spears; i want to hurl coffee at them, but my coffee is too precious & way too expensive at this cafe), & general ennui. i will take suggestions.
finally had a chance to watch the video of us prez george bush giving geman chancellor angela merkel a sudden backrub in a closed-door g8 summit meeting. i appreciate the opportunity to be momentarily distracted from now habitual rage over the reporting on israeli actions of (and here i would insert lovely quotation marks to indicate that the following term is laughable in this context, but i won't do that because i've developed an aversion to quotations marks for the time being) self defense.
i found this next thing exceedingly amusing. this is the photo accompanying an article in today's NYT entitled "Marines Aiding in Evacuation of Beirut; New Clash in South." i had to look at it a few times to process
:
ahhhhhhh.....so sweet.
a smiling marine holding a smiling little girl. i'm not sure what's going on, but i am filled with feelings of warm fuzzy.a few minutes later when i checked back the picture was of a woman hugging a young one:
thank
god they aren't emphasizing the bombed out hospitals, farms, highways,
neighborhoods in now 9th day of israeli attack--that would be hella
depressing. and someone, somewhere, won't know that was a joke.
5b may 2006
holy shit. this just in from an anonymous source:
"...The Citizenship and Immigration Service Dept (under Homeland Security) is looking for a comic on May 31st as part of their APA month activities. This department is strapped for cash, so they are hoping someone can perform for free."
i'm sorry. that's too brilliant, and thus merits the second post of the day.
5 may 2006
at last! someone has finally pointed out my resemblance to hemingway. took you fuckers long enough.
thanks, anonymous truth-speaker:
"i got your email. your emails are always swell. like hemingway. but better. less dry. more entertaining."
well observed, friend. well observed.
2 may 2006*
i have some thoughts about may 1, 2006. bear with me. and probably you've read all this on many other pages across the internet, but as i am not as voracious a blog-reader as other people i know, i am sadly quite uninformed as to what all other people have observed.
in the spirit of may day ("best known as an international holiday celebrating labor and workers" [which is not to say wiki is god's word, but sometimes it's more articulate and succinct than anything i can say]), may 1st was also declared "a day without immigrants", (still a bit unsure which particular organizations organized; working through it), a nationwide pro-immigration boycott.
always down with the struggle, president bush took the initiative to declare may 1, 2006 "national law day." as part of the official declaration, dude "called upon" the People to "to observe this day with appropriate ceremonies and activities." fucking brilliant. what more appropriate activity than a nation-wide boycott?
* i am lying about the date of post, but the spirit of it is 5/2/06, and besides, i was thinking this on 5/1/06 and just forgot to post it. so, catching up. don't judge.
15 april 2006
holy shit! two blog entries in a row! what the fuck is going on? my life must be hella exciting and blog-worthy!
RANDOM BLOG INTRUDER: i thought this wasn't a blog.
who told you that, random blog intruder?
RANDOM BLOG INTRUDER: just the word on the street, dawg.
yeah, i guess that's kind of true. but check it out: i'm right now blogging at a night for bloggers, lap-pop, and so i'm pretending to be a blogger for the night.
RBI: but no one even reads this shit. you don't even have an RSS feed (see yesterday's ramble.)
why must you torment me with your accurate, well-grounded criticism?
RBI: plus, your blog sucks. you don't write about anything except how you don't write about anything. what is this shit, virtual Seinfeld?
don't diss on Seinfeld.
wait a minute: i hate Seinfeld. all because of watching a danny hoch show.
RBI: if you think you can impress us with lots of links, think again. any 3rd grader can do that.
did i mention goh nakamura is one of the featured artists tonight, along with Kevin Cheng, Michael Hurt, Nicole Lee, Gerard Reyes, and Paolo Sambrano?
RBI: you suck, samantha chanse.
that's whiskeyandacigarette dot org to you, bitch.
RBI: you're not even a nonprofit. what's this "dot org" shit?
oh my, will you look at the time? looks like i've got to go wash my hair.
RBI: but i'm not finished with my ins--
i got hella hair to wash.
14 april 2006
my good friend tells me i need an RSS feed on my blog.
thanks, good friend.
in other news, i am performing standup tonight at ASU's hapa arts showcase. last night, i coerced a small group of friends into sitting through a half hour of material at a secret location.due to this clandestine gathering, at some point the white guy doing lights will insinuate hjmself into my act. just you wait.
18 march 2006
"the theory of panspermia holds that life on planets like earth and mars was seeded from space, perhaps hitching a ride on meteorites and comets."
that's hot. "panspermia" is a brilliant name for a theory.
theory-namer, you are rockstar. humbly, i thank you for making my late saturday afternoon.
16 march 2006
ANONYMOUS GENTLE READER: why do you update this rambles blog so irregularly? i thought "shit be on your mind." or that's what it says up top.
SAM: hello thoughtful reader. it is true that shit be on my mind. unfortunately, the journey from my mind to whiskeyandacigarette.org is long and strenuous, and fraught with peril.
AGR: really? i thought you were just lazy and unreliable.
SAM: (laughing, but not unkindly) no, you're wrong.
AGR: i'm sick and tired of people telling me i'm wrong just because i reach a logical conclusion based on my observations. are you telling me that my observations are wrong, and my conclusions inconclusive? why is everyone always dismissing me?
SAM: hey hey hey, whoa, calm down there, anonymous gentle reader. no need to go apeshit . we're all mature adults here.
AGR: what are you talking about? i'm 12 years old.
SAM: oh, shit. thank god i haven't updated the "images" section yet.AGR: why? will there be nekkid pics?
SAM: no. i just thought that would be fun to say.
AGR: so is anything actually on your mind, or must i read this pointless blog ad infinitum, ad nauseam, ad...some other latin accusative noun form?
SAM: it's not pointless. it's fairly zen. see, it may SEEM like this is about nothing, but in fact it makes you think of many other things. as you read, you begin to transcend the content of this discussion because it is so unintrusive. just like google talk.
AGR: oh, i see.
SAM: yes. reading this rambles section is actually helping you achieve a higher consciousness.
AGR: i understand now. thank you, sam. so what i thought was drivel is, in truth, more akin to religious scripture.
SAM: recognize, bitch.
26 feb 2006
i was recently reminded how much i cherish david rees' masterpieces. the tactile versions are better, but the online version makes me happy enough. go on, click on it. make yourself happy, you deserve it. mebbe you don't, i dunno.
i also am very impressed with recent developments in manja.org,, an online service/guide that promotes sf bay area asian american arts stuffs. there's a new feature called manja promote that helps you promote cool arts happenings on your own website/blog/onlinepresencething by letting you choose what to promote and automatically generating code for it & that kinda thing. the website explains it more eloquently, i believe.
so i decided to try it out, what with the sfiaaff coming up:
lord, it is a wondrous thing.
16 feb 2006
yeah so it's been a few weeks. i narrowly avoided making any ramble entry on valentine's day. valentine's day gives me the runs.
brief rehash: this feels belated but before i forget: the feb 3 show at AK press was a magnificent affair. i was much grateful to those who actually crossed a bridge to get there. very gratifying to see so many people packed into a warehouse full of books. and korean food followed--could anything be better? aside from japanese food, i mean?
did my first set at cobb's last night; tried out a joke about killing kittens. and tomorrow there's some fundraiser for medical marijuana at el rio.
30 j an 2006
i receive hate mail telling me that my "blog" is "boring." oh yeah? what if i told you that "UFOs" were going to "crash-land" into the "Senate building" during the final Alito confirmation "vote'? wouldn't be so boring then, would it?
that’s what i thought. besides, this section does not identify as a blog. it identifies as "the rambles." so stop trying to slap labels onto it. http://www.whiskeyandacigarette.org/rambles.html checks the box that says "web page", okay? christ.
in other news: i am doubly depressed by the nearing confirmation of the second bush appointed supreme court justice and a headine on the guardian.co.uk site this weekend that reads "women demand tougher laws to curb abortions." bad timing, guardian unlimited.
but there is good in the world. for instance: had the pleasure last night of sitting in on another sunday night at the punchline--happily, arj barker did a set--and then heading over to the mission to enjoy the remaining few songs of a fairly impromptu show by the invisible cities and goh nakamura at doc's clock. they each play as separate musical entities, although now i think they are a mega-musical entity. (show at cafe du nord february 7th). i enjoy doc's clock because it's in the mission near my house. usually, i repair to the inner richmond for such delights, but i'm not quite sure why. okay, i am sure why, but no reason to go into details here.
this week: looking forward to a few events. one, the show at akpress this friday, 2/3. an honor to share a stage with the will franken, the john hoogasian, and the phillip watson. and support the akpress. two, the opening of the the love edition show at bindlestiff. actually, anton delfino, who's directing my piece in that show, has been blogging about it quite regularly. since i've only sat in one rehearsal, i appreciate the opportunity to vicariously experience the rehearsal process. hella arduous & shit, ya feel me?
okay, i'm still working out this content thing. patience, patience.
24/25 jan 2006
good lord, over a week and some since last ramble. it's because i've
been too intent on posting all the hate
mail i've been getting. it's been keeping me occupied.
nothing real to point out at this point. the bantercut played tonight at ireland's, thanks for those who came out. good times. apparently, my facial expressions let the audience know when a fuck up has occurred. and i owe jim & todd a third of forty bucks each. dana jensen is quite the musical person to have on your team. we have the honor of doing a show with her on feb 22nd.
okay. this is boring me too. gnight.
12/13 jan 2006
the other half of bantercut just left the room. we had our first real
practice of 2006, which was pleasant and reminded us that we should
probably get our shit together before our ireland's
32 show on 1/24. but it was all a wonderful learning process.
and on the final day of the alito hearings, what have we learned? that
listening to hours of hearings makes you zone out after a while, no
matter how high the actual stakes are. as one friend of minesaid
recently in regards to a certain questioning senator's style, "ah, his
strategy is to discuss something so boring that everyone will tune
out." to my friend's credit, he put it much more eloquently and
humorously, but i can't remember the exact wording.
also, did a set at the wonderful brainwash open mic tonight. if you ever are in the mind to listen to a marathon of uneven comedy--meaning some gems and some decided ungems--visit that folsom b/w 8th and 7th street coffee shop (which also sells beer & wine) on a thursday.
10/11 jan 2006
did canvas tonight, and then had a drink with a dear one. these things
happen. you feel drunk and then wish you were passed out before any
real thoughts can get past your fuzz of a brain and occur to you. if
you could see all the typos i'm correcting, mang. then you could REALLY
send
me hate mail.
10 jan 2006
new & exciting addition! while i don't know have the
sophisticated technology to not do it manually, you can now add your
comments to the "what you're saying" section of this website by sending
me an email. check out the latest
comments here!
08/9 jan 2006
after
taking my shredded
vocal cords and fleeing the post-showcase revelry at punchline tonight,
i continued my self-medication of many liquids and--damnit, couldn't
resist--a cigarette. but i also managed to get in a much-needed
re-write for the feb show at bstiff. and some very exciting updates to
a doomed site that will soon be under the stewardship (or at least
design authority) of one very kindly and legitimate web person. "web
person" sounds insulting but i couldn't think of the proper term, and
he's not the type to be offended. i shouldn't think. anyway, each
minute i spend updating this site makes me more acutely aware of the
fact that it will all soon be destroyed, to be reassembled in an
entirely new (and far more easy-to-access) format. so what you see here
is very much like one of those marvelous glass sculptures or sand
arrangements soon to either melt or be carried away by the winds--but
with less of the marvel element to speak of.
06 jan 2006
look,
i was so inspired
i didn't do shit on this site for almost two months. at least there are
events listed now. that's quite impressive.
17 nov 2005
tap-tap-tap.
i've been
sick for a few days and felt a bit inspired. sweating your way through
a few different cotton tees may do that to a person.
...or return to whiskeyandacigarette.org home.